Is it allowed 

a href=””>Cowardice

I have often wondered

I still do…since I was a little girl

Is it cowardice or bravery to fail to speak up?

Am I brave to speak out

Am I too precocious

Too misguided perhaps

I question

I ask….I….of such deep faith

Such deep faith…yet little faith

The size of a mustard seed…

It’s enough to move mountains

It’s moved mountains

But it fails to remove the conflict…that is my relationship with my mother

Am conflicted.. ….the conflicts dislocates my faith….

I question

Am I allowed to get annoyed at my mother….

I am annoyed at my mother….is that not the same as questioning faith?

Is one not supposed to love ones mother unconditionally?

And does such questionING amount to dislocation of all that we hold dear?

My friend once told me he just recently forgave his mother for the beatings he received when he was young

I thought….why do you need to forgive your mother?

Aren’t mothers above reproach?

But mothers are only above reproach if you do not allow yourself to feel

And how can you love if you don’t allow yourself to feel

So I allowed myself to feel

And my soul feels dislocated

Dislocated .. . in deeply loving my mother and in so doing allowing myself to feel when she hurts me

As mothers

We must allow our children to feel

Feel hurt … and feel love in equal measures….allow their souls to feel dislocated

To love….is to hurt….


2 comments on “Is it allowed 

  1. An interesting retrospect regarding parental respect. I agree, forgiving parents for doing their duty to discipline us seems odd, yet they did in fact hurt us, and apologizing for the hurt they made us feel is cathartic. It is a way of telling a parent that you finally understand that they did what they did for your own benefit.

    Liked by 1 person

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