The colosseum 

My thighs are shaking…strike that !!!!!!!

everything is shaking….quivering! Trembling!!! 

It’s 9am!

Welcome to the colosseum.

Not the Roman one! though there definitely are similarities 

No this is a gym….but not your usual run of the Mill Gyms..

No bright mirrors and soft colors to soften your landing and your first encounter with the gym.

No misleading soft exercise balls and new state of the art machinery….you know the ones that actually does the work for you….

No not the shiny black treadmills with heart rate monitors!

And shiny abs sculpturing machines…

No 

The colosseum does not lie to you….

From the entrance where there is a photo of a wrestler? ….dark ribbon on his head… his torso with reaped.muscles!!!

I swear …you can sink your index finger in the ridges between his six packs!

The stair case is not the shiny mahogany or wooden or nicely tiled shiny steps.. 

The stairs have patches where at first glance one wonders how terrazzo floor got cracked at the edges… that is until you hear the loud bangs of metal hitting terrazzo as heavy metal weights are thrown to the floor amidst shouts and grunts of weightlifters lifting grunting and dropping weights …if you are new you will be forgiven for running out….or thinking you are under attack..  

The colosseum walls resemble  a military training ground….painted with the dull colours of dark green and light green…

The ceiling is stained in patches….

But the best part is the individuals in the gym 

The scowling instructors…..they demonstrate some impossible move and Tower over you as you grunt and groan as you make an half assed attempt to repeat what they have just demonstrated….

To the quietly coordinated muscle machines….mostly men and few women…fit and ripped…

They are focused

They need no instructions and effortlessly move from one routine to another….

They have this catlike gait…they seem to walk on the tip of their toes… float across the room…..softly and gracefully….making no sound….sweat delicately streaming down their faces 

I feel lost and clumsy next to them.. 

My gait as I stumble from one exercise to another is confused and tired.. No Grace…. No style 

Even my sweat lacks character as it streams down my face…

I have just finished climbing 4 Flights of stairs 10 times; Cross trainer and dragging a trailer tyre for over 300  meters

My thighs are trembling 

My hands are trembling 

My heart is thumping 

I gulp for air like fish out of water 

In the colosseum newbies like me live in hope 

Hope that the instructor will announce that it’s now time to stretch…. That means you survived another day at the colosseum and can stretch and go home!

Hope that one day you too will acquire a catlike gait and atleast a one if not a six pack

And the hope that today is not the day you discover new muscle in your body….yeah the ones that are so dormant they are almost dead

And the final hope that tomorrow your suicidal tendencies will be as strong as today and you will be back to the colosseum 

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